I got grabbed by the elk and the caribou.
They tied me up with vine lassoo
And whisked me away to Animaloo,
Where they locked me up in the People Zoo.
Now I’m here in a cage that is small as can be
(You can’t let wild people just run around free),
And I’m fed bread and tea at a quarter to three,
And the animals all come and gander to me.
They point and they giggle and sometimes they spit
(There’s bars on my cage, so they can’t poke or hit),
And they scream, “Do a trick,” but I stubbornly sit,
Not doin’ nothin’ … but thinking’s a bit.
So if you come visit, just howl, honk, or moo
And try to pretend you’re an animal, too.
‘Cause if you’re a person, they’ll throw you into
Cage Two of the zoo here in Animaloo.